How good it is to feel free, to feel at peace, to feel a chuckle inside you at something humorous that has happened, to share a joke, to be able to see the good side of life rather than the negative, not to have to worry about what others might say or think, to enjoy the company of good friends, to feel secure, to know that life is worth-while, to feel you are in the ‘right’ place and doing the ‘right’ job, to feel content despite the sufferings and difficult problems that come your way, to empathise with, and feel the pain and suffering of others, and to realise that death is not an end, in itself, but a new beginning. All these qualitative feelings speak to me and demonstrate, substantially, what it is to be alive – to be in quiet, tranquil joy, to achieve what always eluded me as a younger person – “to be myself”. Sometimes people would say to me in my teen-age years, and in my twenties: “Don’t look so worried Jonathan, it can’t be that bad,” yet, within my own mind, I didn’t really feel worried, and so I wondered what it was that I was projecting and why? Occasionally, I’d get the remark, “Just be yourself!”, and then I always wondered what that meant – and how to achieve it? As life has progressed, and things have become more settled, largely because life and its ‘patterns’ are more solidly in place, such remarks don’t come my way, any more; life is now too full and, if I don’t ‘mess up’, it really is fascinating and varied.

My limited experience, I think, has led me to understand that all those positive human qualities come to me when I am peace with God and my neighbour – not when I am at logger-heads with either of them. In fact, it is when God is close that I, too, am close to God. But, to whom is God close? Is he close to those who pray each day? Perhaps, if the prayer is authentic and sincere! Could God be close to those who live a virtuous life? Perhaps, if they are not conceited and proud about it! Then again, is God close to those who, without fail, come to Mass every Sunday? Perhaps, if the rest of the week, they live in the way that God wants them to! Could God be close to the successful, wealthy and healthy? Perhaps, if they realise success is not for self-glorification, – if they use their wealth for good – and if they are grateful to God for the gift of health, without taking it for granted! To highlight just one of two of these ‘may-be’s’, whereas once I was not aware, I am now old enough to realise that often the prayer I make is not authentic, that there is a lot of conceit and pride in me, that often I do not live quite as God would desire.  At this point, there springs to mind a thought provoking phrase from the psalms that runs: “from my hidden faults acquit me”.

Talking recently to two people, who do frequently go to Mass, I began the phrase “God is close to……” and they both filled in the words: “the broken-hearted”.  And so it is that this phrase: “God is close to the broken hearted”, has played on my mind throughout this last week. I have repeated it often. I have found it on my lips when thinking of my own sins and failures, when visiting a family that has lost a child, when seeing a person in tears because of difficult relationships, when finding a person unsure of life and its future, when reflecting on the sad state of affairs in which we seem to find ourselves, in Britain, today, when contemplating the terrible and tragic spectacle of 200,000 dead, tens of thousands injured and millions displaced in Haiti.  Then there is the war in Afghanistan that is killing our people and God knows how many other ‘heart-breaks’ ….. all true stories involving human suffering, of an intense personal nature.  God is close to the broken hearted ….. and, if my thesis in the first paragraph is correct, then to be fully a ‘human being’ means also to be “broken-hearted”

Can that statement mean that God is not close to those who are not broken-hearted? I imagine that someone who is ‘self-sufficient’, who thinks they are fully ‘in control’ of their life, who lacks nothing, sees no need at all for a God – or others – to help them overcome pride and self-sufficiency, and feels no dependency on God, or any person, would perhaps be somebody with whom God is not close. Such a person would have no vulnerability for God, or anyone else to get close, for there would be too many barriers erected, ring-fencing such a person from any contact with the divine or the human; and so such a person would grow into a “Scrooge” , or a ‘loner’ that nobody could love or appreciate.

I remember, once, a most loving parishioner, within our Parish, moved to tears at the Heysel Stadium Disaster that occurred in Belgium at the final of the European Cup, May 28th 1985, when 39 Juventus fans were crushed to death, and 600 more were injured, just before their match with Liverpool FC. I have no idea who was to blame, or why it happened, but this parishioner was so moved by the tragedy that her compassion moved me to tears, also. She couldn’t do much about it, but she could pray; and that she did. That lady was truly broken-hearted and it was then that I realised a truth that was self-evident – events in the world around us, affect us deeply and personally. There are many forms of being ‘broken hearted’. You can be broken hearted at the sin, and suffering, in yourself, at the sin, and suffering, in our world, at the pain of many people who may be far away or very close to you. Here, there is no need for God ‘not to be close’ to any person, because any person can be broken-hearted. Here, it is open for all of us to be “fully human”, for the broken hearted are close to God, and when we are close to God, then there is a chance for the ‘human’ within us, to develop and grow.

All this brings to mind my reading of a short passage from St. John Bosco, (1815-1888), founder of the Salesians, (a world-wide Religious Order), who worked mainly with young and needy boys in Italy. It ‘talks’ of the joy of being human, being a Christian and also rounds off the paradox that exists within our human condition – being human means both, being broken hearted and being in joy. It made me realise that “to see the face of Jesus”, a phrase loved by Pope John Paul II, does not mean always seeing a smiling happy face: it can include a sad and thoughtful face, also.

“There are two main ways for the devil to try to trick and wean the young away from a good-living life. The first is to have them think that serving God means a sad and dull life, a long way from any fun or enjoyment. Dear young people, that is not true! I want to help you understand a Christian way of life that is, at the same time, joyful and contented, pointing out what are true pleasures and enjoyment so that you could repeat with the Prophet David: “let us serve the Lord in joy; serve the Lord in gladness”.

The second of the devil’s tricks is to think to live a long life and have the comfort of a conversion in old age at the point of death! Who guarantees that we will reach old age? It would be necessary to make a pact with death to wait for us until that time, but life and death are in the hands of the Lord. If God does grant you long lives listen to what I tell you: ‘the road that a young man takes in his youth he will continue in until his old age and death. If we begin a good life now when we are young, we will be good in the later years, our death will be good and the cause of eternal happiness.’”

Now, I ask, has not the ‘wheel turned full circle’ – are we not back where this short note began: the joy of being a full human being?