“As soon as they left the synagogue, they entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. Now Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed with a fever, and they told Him about her at once. He came and took her by the hand and lifted her up. Then the fever left her, and she began to serve them.” (Mark 1, 29-31)

Artist’s reconstruction of Capernaum Jesus’ base

Imagine yourself in the first Christian community, a close community of friends and family and among them were some who had known Jesus very well, and some were still alive who had been with him as he worked his miracles. Jesus had died, risen and gone from them some 20 or 30 years before. This is the setting for the story that follows. It was written by a friend of mine who is a biblical scholar, and he writes in his native Italian. I have translated it into colloquial English.

–Tell us about Him

–I have already told you many times.

–Tell us again about Him.

Reconstruction of Peter’s House

As on every Sabbath, as evening was falling, they gathered in her house. The old servant had welcomed them at the door, with his usual cordial and friendly greeting: “Shalom my brother; Shalom my sister” and with a huge smile for the little ones. She appeared, when everyone was already seated to eat, with an enormous pan of vegetables and fish. The bread was already on the table, and she served everyone with a great smile on her lips, that smoothed the ancient lines on her face. She served everyone, and looked like a queen. 

They had listened to the reading of their fathers; they had recalled the sayings of the Master, they had praised and thanked God, and broken bread as so many times before. He had done all this with them, and now, in the darkness of night, they had left the table to gather round the fire. The little ones were already asleep and the others were begging her: 

–Tell us about Him

–I have already told you many times.

–Tell us again about Him. 

She was egged on by their insistence. Her reluctance was easily overcome each time. She was never too tired to tell them her story, and they were never tired of listening to her over and over again. 

It was a Sabbath, like today, when He came into my bedroom. The fever had been raging for days. Lying on the bed, I felt my strength leaving me. I was worn to a ‘frazzle’. The burning heat had made my lips red hot, and I was covered in sweat. My daughter never left my side, day or night, mothering me; she was like my mother, and I her daughter. But she seemed more and more distant; I hardly noticed her as my eyes were fading under the shadow of death. 

“I am poured out like water” – I said to myself, as I went further away from all around me – “and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted within my breast; my throat is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to my jaws. ….but you, O Lord, do not be far away! O, my help, come quickly to my aid!” 

When life was already slipping away He came into my room. I did not see Him as I no longer opened my eyes. I didn’t hear Him either. I was slipping away towards Sheol without the strength to resist. 

A hand prevented the last step. He took me by the hand. His hand was strong and delicate – a decisive hold. He comforted me; he drew me to Himself. 

It was a sweet awakening, like after a deep, contented sleep without any nightmares. I realised I was sitting on the bed, my daughter at my side and there, too, was Simon, Andrew, our faithful servant, and Him. I had never seen Him before this moment, and it was as though I saw the others for the first time. I had been dead, and now I was alive. Everything around me was new, and I felt a different person. 

He still was holding my hand tightly. From hand to hand, life was passing. I was alive, with a life I had not lived before. 

The words of our King David came to my mind.  “…..you were holding me by my right hand. You will guide me by your counsel and so you will lead me to glory”. I spoke them looking at Him in that shadowy room, now fresh and familiar. I was looking at Him, but I felt everything was in His hand – in my hand. 

“You led your people from Egypt in the strength of your arm”, I murmured to him. I now knew what that strong right hand was, that freed our fathers. It was the same that held me tight, and was saving me from death. I was in the valley of the shadow of death, and His hand had seized me, and brought me back to life. 

He went through the same journey later – for all of you – for each one of us. In Jerusalem, outside the walls of the City, on a hill, the abyss of death was opened; he descended into hell and in the strength of His arm, and with the firm hold of His hand, He grasped each man and woman that lay in death’s dungeon. With the Risen Lord we are all risen. 

But I did not know all about that, as yet. Then, I felt only a sense of new blood, pumping in my veins and a breath of new life in my nostrils. I felt…alive, alive, alive! 

I found myself on my feet, and He still held my hand. 

When He let go, I was already alive, very much alive. 

I felt like a young girl again, in the house of my father, the strength of being a young wife, and organising the home of my husband. And I began, quickly, to prepare lunch for Him and the others in the house. The house, that had gone to sleep with me, woke up again. 

Joanna lapsed into an absorbed silence, with her palms before her – and lifted a bit, as though she was again touching the hand of the Master. 

Tell us some more about Him, 

they started saying after the silence had enchanted them. 

I have spoken about him many times to you.

Tell us again about Him…. 

Maybe, if I have time to translate the next section, of this beautiful story!

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Yesterday, March 1^st, was the feast of St. David, Patron Saint of Wales, and I have been reflecting on the Welsh heritage of saints. There is an Island off the ‘top’ peninsular in Wales – the LLyn, or the LLeyn Peninsular – called Bardsey Island, reputed to be where 20,000 saints are buried. They are, in a sense, sons and daughters of St. David.

Map of Medieval Wales

A few years ago, with a friend of mine, Malcolm Pyman, we stayed at the Presbytery in Colwyn Bay, at that time in the care of the Oblates of Mary Immaculate. There was no resident priest, and we were welcome to stay there. It was a week that brings back memories of Malcolm, who sadly died about two years ago, at a relatively young age.

Malcolm Pyman (third on the left) at the meal during the

Regeneration of the Parish Week, September 2004

We were good friends, and had similar interests; my main memory is of our visit to Bardsey Island, the Island of 20,000 saints and scholars. We then discovered that there is a medieval pilgrimage route, from the top of the peninsular to Bardsey Island, and this had several regular stopping points, all marked by a Church. The first was that of St. Beuno; the last was the monastery on the mainland, overlooking the Island, with the short span of sea between the two – a span of fast, furious and dark sea-currents. Many a pilgrim has been drowned in those dangerous straits, and, to this day, it is not advisable for the inexperienced to take a boat between the mainland and the Island.

 Pilgrim route down the Llyn Peninsular

Pilgrims who made that Pilgrimage twice, in medieval times, were told it was equivalent to a Pilgrimage to Rome! Maybe it was because of the dangers crossing those straits, that made it so meritorious, in doing the pilgrimage twice.

Older type of boat for crossing to the Island of Bardsea

Our boat was not much bigger than the one above, though ours had a motor, and we made a long detour, away from the straits, to the natural harbour on the East of the Island; we also got wet getting aboard, as it was necessary to wade out to the boat.

Bardsey Island with the mainland behind

In the picture, there is a view of the monastery, snuggling under the lee of the hill to the North of the picture. It is clear where the ruins of St. Mary’s Abbey are from the next picture.

 Top of the Island is the burial place near St. Mary’s Abbey of 20,000 saints.

It is Lent, and the desire to grow in love for God, and neighbour, should be uppermost in our hearts and minds. Lent is like a pilgrimage. Life needs stopping places, where one can re-charge the batteries. There are dangers on life’s journey, too, and we need perseverance in the face of adversity; we also need to ‘run away’ from evil, just as that small ferry ‘fled far’ from the dangerous currents of the straits.

 Bardsea Island from the mainland on a dark day

As in England, so in Wales, and it has come to my attention just how much the Christians – at least in North Wales – are struggling, as faith wanes, churches close and the Christian people are, once again, ‘on the back foot’. In Wales, there is a different feel to life, when compared with England: the culture, the language, the singing, the outlook on things is ‘something else’; it has its own perfection and beauty – a beauty that I, as an outsider, can look on, admire and appreciate. It will be interesting to discover how there will be growth, and development once again, of all that is Christian, in Wales. St. David, and all those medieval saints and scholars, will be mightily pleased when a true, and beautiful Christian spirit, flourishes once again Wales.

The Welsh Flag

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Last week Socius wrote a blog entitled “The Place for Prayers is in Church”. It was connected with the theme of atheism in modern Britain, and was closely argued to show that a position of belief in God was more sensible than that of believing there is no God. As somebody once observed: you have to have faith to be an atheist! It is most interesting that, in the history of the world, atheism has not been at all widespread. Even today it is not widespread outside of Europe, but among our fellow Europeans it is developed, and the atheists, at least in Britain, are gaining the higher moral ground.

Father and Son at Leyland Confirmation Preparation

As a priest in a parish, people sometimes say to me: “Father it must be hard to work as a priest in today’s world!” It is interesting that ‘practical atheism’ is widespread. In practice, people who believe, largely do not put their faith into action, by worshipping God on Sundays. In practice, we are surrounded by many who do not live by the norms of Christian belief, in regards to moral behaviour in business, in relationships, in fidelity in marriage, in the sanctity of life in the womb and, increasingly, in the sanctity of life in terminal illness. In practice, the Churches are largely in decline, and, those who do believe, can be publicly ridiculed by the media. In practice, once good practising Catholics, are no longer to be considered as such. In practice, it is very difficult to find young people who are a part of the community of faith and, so it might go on.

Trying to find names of saints for girls – Leyland St. Mary’s Confirmation Programme

I think it would be difficult to live as a priest today, if I had not found that, in all the above circumstances, God’s light shines on me and guides my steps, and his fire still burns in my heart, above all, through an increasing love of the Word of God; that is a massive support mechanism. On my own – left to my own devices – it would be impossible to live as a priest today!

Evidence is important in all this. We can find evidence for God’s existence; it is evidence, of course, that drives science forward, as experiments are undertaken to demonstrate what the scientist is out to prove. It drives belief, too. It is evidence, accrued from personal experience that interests me, at this moment, though there are other types of evidence, of course, for God’s existence.

This train of thought has been growing in my heart, both from my experience, and from a phrase underlined by Archbishop Patrick Kelly, (our Bishop in the Diocese of Liverpool), referring to Pope Benedict XVI’s Encyclical “Deus Caritas Est”. “Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person.”

Archbishop Patrick (2^nd from left) with the Apostolic Nuncio and two monks at Leyland St. Mary’s

The Word of God is an event in some, if not all, lives. Ultimately, the Word of God is a person – the ‘WORD BECAME FLESH AND LIVED AMONG US’; we Christians know that this person is not dead, but alive, and we can have a personal relationship with the ‘Word of God’ because he became Flesh, and rose again. The ‘Word of God’ changes things, and although, of course, Christians live by faith, I as a Christian, can say as somebody who tries to live by God’s Word, and tries to do his will, that I know Jesus, who is the ‘Word of God’. I know him because he changes things, and gives me ‘light’ with which to live and, also, a ‘fire’ burning inside – not the fire of human love – but close to it. “Were not our hearts burning within us as he talked to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?” (Luke 24:32), commented those two disciples when Jesus appeared to them, in the breaking of bread, at Emmaus. Those two disciples did not ‘know’ God, in the sense of understanding him – and his infinite power, knowledge, love and mercy – but their hearts burned within them, at the events they experienced.

Jesus breaks bread at Emmaus

I would like to wager that many people have had experiences that are similar, both those who are ‘Churchy’ people, and those who are not. Many people have been deeply, and personally, touched by events – experiences – they have shared. It may have been a funeral; it may have been something seen on the internet, or on TV, or it may be a neighbour they know, who has given inspiration. The Emmaus pair knew they had found the ‘pearl of great price’ for which they would sell everything. The same sense has also been mine, and it is for that reason that my life as a monk, and as a priest, is so good.

The ‘Word of God’, in the scriptures, betrays no doubts about the existence of God. Praying the Psalm at Morning Prayer, today, brought into my heart a wealth of ideas, and reflections, about my own experience. 

We heard with our own ears, O God, our Fathers have told us the story

of the things you did in their days, you yourself, in days long ago. (Psalm 43 (44)) 

I am fully aware of what God has done in the lives and events of so many people connected with me – in the way love and mutual respect have grown, where there was little before – when there was little self-respect and it has grown into Godly self-esteem – where sins have been forgiven, and people have found that inner freedom and joy. 

..it was not in my bow that I trusted nor yet was I saved by my sword:

It was you saved us from our foes, it was you who put our foes to shame.

All day long our boast was in God and we praised your name without ceasing. (Psalm 43 (44)) 

I am also fully aware that any good that is done by me, or anyone else in the world, is the work of God himself and not my work. The task of the Christian is to abide in God and let him work his wonders; the abiding is our work that is actually also God’s grace! 

Sadly, the ‘Word of God’, in the scriptures, is ignored by the majority; however, it comes to life when the life of God, that is the ‘Word’, produces its effects. The most important effect, to focus on for this short blog, is that it produces a community of people, who are all bound together, by the ‘Word’, into union with one another, in God. Jesus himself realised this, for in St. John’s Gospel, we read “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35) The ‘Word’ creates a communion of people that cares for each other, and serves others outside the group. People take note that, in this kind of community, there is something special. Sometimes they refer to that ‘peace’, for which outsiders yearn.

Religious Men of different Religious Orders at a recent meeting 

It is the support-mechanism, we give to each other, that is essential; this is very much so for me, personally, and it evokes a different image of ‘Church’. Nobody is an isolated individual but as Cardinal Newman spoke, ‘a link in a chain’. ‘Church’ is not just a system, a set of rituals, a structure; essentially, it is a communion of loving people, who belong to each other, respect each other and where Jesus the ‘Word of God’ is alive within’ and among them. All the ritual, structures, and systems come after that, though they are necessary, in their own way – they have a part to play. Church is a communion of people where one learns not to look down on anyone – even if their beliefs are utterly different to one’s own. The support-mechanisms, themselves, have their own systems, rituals and structures, in a loose way, but it is the life-events, where God is present, that is most helpful, and, even if some of those ‘supports’ give way, it does not negate the fact that the ‘support’ is the life-saver; more than that, it is, itself, the presence of the ‘Word of God’ surrounding me, not just as in a book of words that is the Scripture, but as a presence of a person, who is divine, and who I know, and try to love. 

No, it is not hard for me to live as a priest in today’s world, atheistic though it may be. It would be nice sometimes, not to be quite so busy though!

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A few days ago, I was busily engaged in other matters at home, and was listening with ‘half an ear’ to the evening news. My attention was then, quite suddenly, drawn to an item on the news concerning a town council in Devon, and the objections of one ex-councillor to the practice of holding prayers before a council meeting. His objections prompted discussions among the members of the council and were eventually over-ruled. All this has now resulted in the National Secular Society (NSS) taking the matter to the High Court, on the grounds that the holding of prayers, as an integral part of council meetings, breaches the human rights of those who do not wish to take part. The case was heard by Mr Justice Ouseley, who gave his judgement to the effect that prayers were not lawful under section 111 of the Local Government Act 1972. However, he said prayers could be said as long as councillors were not formally summoned to attend.

The judgement was being seen as a test case which could affect local councils across England and Wales. Mr Justice Ouseley ruled the prayers as practised by Bideford Town Council had been unlawful because there was no statutory power permitting them to continue. The judge acknowledged the case did raise issues of general public importance and gave the council permission to appeal.

The NSS, which said prayers had no place in ‘a secular environment concerned with civic business’, argued the ‘inappropriate’ ritual breached articles 9 and 14 of the European Convention on Human Rights, which protect an individual’s right to freedom of conscience and not to face discrimination. The case, however, was not won on human rights grounds, but on a point of statutory construction of local government legislation.

The councillor who raised the issue was an atheist, and, with no question raised as to his sincerity or integrity, he had argued that the place for prayers was in church, and not at council meetings. He had resigned from the council because the council’s decisions had gone against him.

My first reaction on hearing this news item was that here was news of another attack on God, and God’s territory, and further evidence of movement towards the greater secularisation of society.

Since listening to this report, I have thought further about the matters raised within this Devon council. To my way of thinking, it seems common sense to argue that, should the council continue to hold prayers before their deliberations, (in the absence, perhaps, of those who object), then one of two scenarios is bound to be true:

a) If the council meeting was NOT the place for prayers before the discussions that were to follow, then the members had wasted perhaps a couple of minutes in asking God for help with what was to follow. Certainly no bad thing could come of it.

b) If it should be found to be right that prayers were an advisable course of action, and that their offering could only result in God’s help, then certainly no one could reasonably argue that supplication had been a waste of time and effort, and asking for God’s help could only result in good for the meeting, the councillors and the results for the whole community.

 However, in all of this there are surely much wider issues at stake. I refer to the question of ‘atheism’, which lies at the root of these discussions.

The Greek word αθεοι (atheoi), as it appears in the Epistle to the Ephesians (2:12) on the early 3rd-century Papyrus 46. It is usually translated into English as “[those who are] without God”.

 ‘Atheism’, a word that comes originally from the Greek word ‘ATHEOS’, meaning ‘without god’, is defined in a broad sense as the rejection of belief in the existence of any deity – that there is no such thing as a supreme being – that no deities exist. People who follow this philosophy – and most are sincere in their beliefs – tend to be sceptical of all supernatural claims and argue that there is no empirical evidence to support the existence of a god – or gods.

The question of the existence of evil, is used as one of their strong points, arguing that, given that evil exists in the world we know, then this ‘flies in the face’ of all that an omnibenevolent, omnipotent and omniscient, god would stand for – for such a god would stand for good against evil and destroy it at source. Then there is the argument from inconsistent philosophies – the widely differing and contrasting views held by the different religions, theologians and other authorities – the argument being that one religious argument defeats another, and, certainly, not all the differing views held, can be correct. The safe way then is stand back and reserve judgement. Thirdly, there is the argument from the standpoint of ‘non-belief’. The premise of the argument is that if God existed (and wanted humanity to know it), he would have brought about a situation in which every reasonable person believed in him; however, there are reasonable unbelievers, and therefore, this weighs against god’s existence.

Overall, it would seem that, perhaps, a majority of atheists hold to the view that it is not for them to show that a supreme being does not exist; rather it is for the believer to show that there is evidence for his existence.

 Going back to the two scenarios described under discussions on the council meetings, I think there is room for a projection of the two possible outcomes, to the basic question of atheism:

1. Take first the unbeliever. He does not believe in the existence of a supreme being – a god to whom people can pray and ask for help in their lives. There is no one ‘up there’ that can help in any way, and when we die, as die we all must, then there is nothing – no further existence – no supernatural life – no heaven (or hell) – and certainly no life of happiness to anticipate. Everything comes to a complete nothingness – the largest ‘black hole’ one can think of – if you like. He has never said a prayer in his life – in his life, he has not wasted his time on such frippery. But what if this man is wrong – just think about the waste of his whole life, and the possible awful consequence?

 2. Then take the believer. This man has lived a life believing in the existence of God – of a supreme and loving supernatural entity, who has listened to his prayers and who has helped him in his life. Certainly, there will have been difficulties and problems along the way – some of them most upsetting – but with God’s help these have been overcome. When this man comes to die, assuming he has loved God and dies with such love in his heart, he can look forward to a life with God – a life of eternal happiness. OK – assume there is no god – and so this man is then proved to be wrong. If this man is proven wrong and there is no such thing as God, heaven and all the rest; if there is just total blackness, then in reality, he has lost nothing. He has still lived a good life, helping others, doing the right thing, and that cannot be a bad thing.

 To my oft-befuddled brain, there is only one winner here – and it’s not the first man. He started the race, giving himself no chance of winning – and just consider the value of the prize lost for coming nowhere in this most important race. The worrying aspect, you may agree, is that this is the position chosen by all too many people in the increasingly secular British society of today – and, perhaps, of most of the ‘developed’ western world. OK, the atheist councillor had his say – as was his right – and the High Court has upheld his position. But, at what cost, I wonder?

Tomorrow, Friday 10 February, marks the Feast Day of St. Scholastica, a saint well recognised by both the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches, though if my own experience is anything to go by, I would humbly suggest that she is not very well known among the lay-people of the Church – the parishioners connected with, or served by monk-priests of the Order of St. Benedict – perhaps, proving the exception to this opening suggestion.  Indeed, not much is known about her life – even from officialdom – and the little that is known comes almost exclusively from the writings (‘Dialogues’) of St. Gregory the Great, (Pope Gregory the Great 590 – 604).

St. Benedict and St. Scholastica

(St. Scholastica is often depicted in art as a habited nun,

holding a crozier and crucifix, with her brother) 

It is thought that she lived from around the year 480 until 543 / 547.  Born in Italy, she was the twin sister of St. Benedict of Nursia; from an early stage in her youth, she led a life dedicated and consecrated to God, the one other dedication in her life being to that of her brother.    cheap fake rolex watches

St. Gregory, in his ‘Dialogues’, tells us that after Benedict established his famous monastery at Monte Casino, she became a nun and leader of a community for women at Plombariola, about five miles from Benedict’s abbey. We do not know, for certain, what rule this community followed, although it seems most likely it was the Rule of St. Benedict.  Thus she is regarded as the first Benedictine nun.

Scholastica was in the habit of meeting with her brother once each year.  Because she was not allowed to visit the monastery, it was usual for the two to meet in a house not far from the grounds of the monastery, and oftentimes, Benedict was accompanied by one of two of his brethren.  At such meetings, brother and sister would converse on spiritual matters, in prayer and pious conversation, discussing sacred texts and similar issues.  In the evening, and before taking their leave of each other, they would most often reflect on what had taken place between them.  On one occasion – only later to be proved their last meeting – Scholastica pleaded with her brother to stay the night and return to his monastery the following day.  Benedict explained that it was impossible for him to be absent from his cell for the night, and, at this, Scholastica joined her hands and bowed down her head in prayer to God.  At once, there came a tremendous thunderstorm accompanied by torrential rain, so furious in its impact, that Benedict and his companions were prevented from leaving.    

At this Benedict exclaimed: “May Almighty God forgive you, sister, for what you have done.”  Scolastica replied simply: “I asked a favour of you, and you refused to grant it. I asked it of God, and He has granted it!”  They spent the night in spiritual conference.  The next morning, they parted to meet no more on earth, for Benedict returned to his monastery and soon afterwards, saw a vision of Scholastica’s soul departing her body, ascending to heaven in the form of a dove. She was to die three days later.

Benedict arranged for the body of his sister to be placed in the tomb he had prepared for himself.  He also arranged for his own to be placed there after his death.  Saint Gregory says, “so death did not separate the bodies of these two, whose minds had ever been united in the Lord.”

Though we know little of St. Scholastica’s life, there is no reason to doubt the veracity of the little we know from the writings of St. Gregory, certainly as to the manner of her relationship with her brother, the manner of her calling – a life dedicated to God – the manner of her last meeting with St. Benedict, and finally, the manner of her passing from this life on earth.

There are, however, one or two comments I think it appropriate to make. 

• St. Scholastica knew in her heart that on the occasion of their last meeting, she would not see her brother again, on this earth.  This was why she asked him to stay so that they could finalise their discussions.
• St. Benedict had no inclination that he would not see his sister alive again.
• St. Scholastica’s plea to St. Benedict fell on ‘deaf ears’ and she then turned to God, who heard her prayer and granted it – at once.
• As to prayer, St. Scholastica gives us the example of what our prayers to God can achieve – not just the trivial, the banal or the momentous – but in everything that matters to us – for God wishes us to be happy and nothing is too little, or too great, for him to grant.  We can always turn to him and say ‘sorry’ for our transgressions; but, we can also turn to him with our hopes and our dreams, those things nearest to our hearts.

 The image of  St. Scholastica was depicted with that of St. Benedict on one side of the 2002 Austrian €50 coin, commemorating the ‘Christian Religious Orders’.

St. Scholastica is sometimes shown, in art, as receiving her veil from Saint Benedict, as in death, her soul departing her body like a dove; or kneeling before Saint Benedict’s cell.  She is the patroness of Monte Casino and of all the Cassinese communities, and is often invoked as protection against storms and rain.    replica breitling

Saint Scholastica – Pray for Us.

Socius

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The other Tuesday morning at the Mass with the young people – mainly from our High School – I found myself saying to them, something that is true for all Christian people who follow the Master – something that I firmly believe – but something that is also a great challenge; “These things we read in the Gospel happen in our lives today. I look forward to you pupils telling me what Jesus has done in the events of your lives too”. The Gospel that day was Mark 5: 21-43, and it tells of Jesus and the Synagogue official whose daughter was desperately sick.  Sadly, she later died. Her father wanted Jesus to cure her – as we know he then did, bringing her back from the dead.

Talitha Kum (Aramaic for ‘Little Girl Arise’)

 The Gospel also includes the cure of the lady, who had had a haemorrhage for 12 years; she touched his cloak, in the dense crowd around him, when he was on his way to perform the cure.

 In a way this puts me ‘on the spot’, however, because it makes me realise that there is a duty not to put burdens on others peoples’ shoulders, but to carry them oneself. So what has happened in my life that brings both ‘Healing’ and even ‘Resurrection’? If I can point to such things, then the Gospel message makes sense, and Jesus becomes a real person at my side: i.e. LOVE in me has grown, and it extends both to me, and to others.

 Following the news on the Internet, watching even shows on TV, listening to most radio programmes does not leave me with much sense of satisfaction. The exceptions, for me, would be some music that touches my heart, or even occasionally, sport. Recently, there was a three-part serial called ‘The Blackheath Murders’ on TV and on the ‘iplayer’. I watched them all. You see, my parents used to live in Blackheath, and I spent many a holiday between 1965 and 1995, in this lovely London village, situated in South East London, (SE3). My parents are buried at the local cemetery at Charlton, and so, the title fascinated me; it was good to have an occasional view of the large London houses on the edge of the Heath, now all turned into flats and bed-sits, but externally, still showing the magnificent detached Georgian buildings of the past; also the wonderful Anglican Church of ‘All Saints on the Heath’ that fits in so well, with its light grey stone, and proportioned tower, on the grassy expanse of Blackheath.

All Saints Church, Blackheath

 Curiosity kept me watching – just to find out who the murderer was, and when all was revealed – well the ending was, really, rather banal. I did not feel much the better after it.

 However reading a wonderful book for meditation entitled, ‘Your Word is Fire’, which displays in its first pages the wonderful power of God’s Word, and enables me, therefore, to enter the life of God, that is enclosed in the Word of God, in human terms, has left me feeling ever more in awe of God, his grandeur and his beauty.

An Image of the Fire of God’s Love

The book has been so good for me that it has become an idea to try to translate it, for it is written in Italian.  That would be a ‘Work of Love’, for then others may benefit from it, as I have done. However, it very pointedly makes me realise that effective prayer, that for me is linked nearly always to ‘lectio divina’, is a very good way to ‘Feel and Know Love, i.e. Jesus’. It is not a cure for the difficulties of life that inevitably do, and will, arise; it does, however, give an understanding about the ‘why’ and the ‘how’, to be self-disciplined, patient, humorous, loving and kind, in the face of all that life throws at me. The lesson for me is that effective prayer helps one to have the relationship of faith and trust, that the Synagogue official, and the woman with the haemorrhage, both had for Jesus. He then works his miracles in us.

What follows describes a tiny experience for which I thank God; it involves a specific event, but it also includes a change of mentality, a change that may seem small, but it has taken years to develop. The event in question was something so very simple. I was in our kitchen when I heard one of my companions ‘groaning’: quite by accident, he had tipped a pile of ‘muesli’ on the floor, from the packet and the little pieces were everywhere. Without much ado, it was easy to fetch the ‘Ewbank’ carpet sweeper, and in 10 minutes or so, to clean it all up.

The ‘Ewbank’ carpet sweeper

My colleague, Fr. Peter, simply sat down and ate his breakfast: he had a train to catch in 30 minutes from Leyland Station, and, knowing the relationship we have, he knew that I was happy and content to do the small task for him; and indeed, I was. On the ‘face of it’, this simple act was nothing more than that of helping a good friend – a friend with whom I have a pact to try to live each day, united in the name of Jesus, so that He will always be among us and within each of us – the deeper meaning! (cf Mt. 18: 20) There was no fuss, no bother; Fr. Peter felt good, and so did I, as all was cleared up off the carpet.

However, this simple episode marks a change of attitude – one ‘miles away’ from the fact that, for many years, I used to get very angry when such accidents occurred, and thoughts that said; “Clumsy oaf; let the person responsible clear it up, why doesn’t he / she take more care?” That would have been my reaction, at one time, stemming from my young days when that would have been the normal reaction, in our family – and not just ‘ours’, but many others, I would suggest. Seeing others react in this way, it had ‘rubbed off’ on me!

But, over years of living with people who were, in this regard, much more loving and tolerant, and then having contact with mothers, who are, forever, clearing up the messes of their children, I acquired a much better loving attitude to such circumstances – to such accidents. The change took a long time, something that makes me realise that it is untrue when people say, “Father, I cannot help my addiction, or my mistakes, because of this, or that happening to me when I was young”. We can be masters of our own lives, rather than ‘programmed’ beings, if we make decisions supported by God’s immense love. We can overcome our limitations, our sinful tendencies. We can let God and his Love live in us – another way of knowing Jesus – another way of knowing that the Gospel is real.

The way to effect the change, in me, was to search for companions who want to put Love at the heart of their lives, and with whom each person could learn to overcome the areas in their lives, that were dead and in need of healing. In addition, God may grant another grace: he may bring you to such openness, together, that you agree to live the new commandment of Jesus, which is the key to enjoying the UNITY that guarantees the presence of Jesus, LOVE –  among you and within you, (Mt 18: 20). Then Jesus becomes real, and you will know and be able to share, what Jesus has done in the events of your lives.

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To many of us – if not most – the prospect of dying is not an easy situation to face, and this prospect grows even more awesome and terrifying, the younger we are. However, from an early age, we all become aware that it is something every last one of us must face. Because of the aura surrounding death, it is certainly not an easy subject to discuss, but to hide it away, as if it is never going to happen – never to mention it, because it is a long way off – can make the prospect worse, in my view.

The lines of a First World War poem, by A. E. Houseman (1859-1936), carry a message:

Here Dead Lie We:

Here dead lie we because we did not choose

To live and shame the land from which we sprung.

Life, to be sure, is nothing much to lose;

But young men think it is, and we were young.

There are some factors that tend to make us ‘afraid’ of discussing that moment when we leave behind this life on earth – factors that increase the fear we all carry of dying:

• We do not know when we are going to die. 
• We do not know the manner of our death – whether by natural causes, by accident, or by other means. 
• We cannot know the time-scale of our ‘dying’, whether it is going to be quick, as in a heart- attack, or perhaps, the long-drawn conclusion to a terminal illness. 
• We do not know what is going to follow – not with any certainty – as we have no previous experience of the process.

Now in all of this, I am quite sure in my own mind, that there is a further very important factor and that is faith – faith in God – and in the promises that Jesus made.

Many, of course, refute such beliefs out of hand. For whatever reason, they have no faith in the existence of God, nor in Jesus and in His saving Death and Resurrection. To many, this is just ‘poppy-cock’; many believe there is just no proof; many just can’t be bothered. Whatever their reasons, they face the prospect of death, and what follows must be total nothingness – total blackness – non-existence. Nothing, that is, except a void –something like the proverbial ‘black hole’. How awful!

Jesus and His Divine Mercy – “Jesus I Trust in You”

How much more enlightening, it must be, to have that faith in the existence of a Supreme Being, Creator of the Universe, and of all things visible and invisible – to have faith in the promises that have been made to humankind – all down the centuries – promises that set out for us, clearly, that there is another ‘supernatural’ life to follow – promises of His love and mercy, to protect us if we try to love Him and do His will – promises that this ‘life after death’ will take us to Him, thus enjoying perfect happiness for all eternity.

I think that there is one further very important consideration to bear in mind – and if we do – it may help to allay some of our fears. Death will certainly come to visit each one of us, at some time in the future. It will bring to an end our humanity, but it will not affect our spiritual side – not in the same way. Yes, we shall lose – leave behind – all human aspects of our life – human bodies, money, possessions, relationships, and all the human emotions, many of which are negative anyway e.g. hatred, envy, power, anger and greed. But, with faith – those who have the gift of belief in a Loving Father – our spiritual side carries on, enhanced a ‘billion-fold’ along a continuum that transcends death – one that has no interruption – no ‘tunnels’ or ‘lights at the end’ but moves smoothly on into a ‘new world’, and one in which those who have made the ‘transubstantiation’ will never have to face death again – one of the ‘preternatural gifts’ – we are promised:

The ‘preternatural’ gifts (from the Latin, praeter naturam – before nature), were bestowed by God on our first parents, Adam and Eve, so called because they were given before the ‘fall from grace’ in the Garden of Eden. They consist of:

IMMORTALITY: Freedom from death, or from the capacity to decay and disintegrate. Absolute immortality is God’s alone. His spirit is eternal by essence. Natural immortality belongs to all spiritual persons, angels and human souls. Their immortality is not absolute because God could annihilate them.  Gratuitous immortality was a special grace, given by God to our first parents Adam and Eve, freedom from bodily death, and from separation of soul from body. 

IMPASSIBILITY: Complete freedom from every kind of physical evil, such as sorrow, sickness, injury, or death, so that our being cannot suffer or die. Impassibility results from perfect compliance of the body and emotions to the soul. 

FREEDOM FROM CONCUPISCENCE: Concupiscence is the propensity of human nature to actual sin as a result of the original sin, which darkened our intellects and weakened our wills.  Specifically, concupiscence is the spontaneous movement of our sensual appetite toward what we imagine as pleasant and away from what we imagine as painful.  It leads us, in many ways, to turn away from God’s law, God’s perfection, God’s will that we should love him.  Once free from this gigantic negative, we can begin to live in God’s perfection.

 The Old Testament describes for us the happy state of mankind, before Original Sin, for, in the Psalms (Psalm 8, 4 – 9), we hear of God’s glory and Man’s Dignity (before the ‘fall’):

“What is man that you think of him;

Mere man, that you care for him?

Yet you made him inferior only to yourself;

You crowned him with glory and honour.

 You appointed him ruler over everything you made

You placed him over all creation: sheep, cattle, and the wild animals too;

 The birds and the fish

And the creatures in the seas, O Lord, our Lord

Your greatness is seen in all the world!”

If Adam and Eve had not sinned, we all would have inherited these preternatural gifts, together with the supernatural gift of sanctifying grace. The souls in heaven will recover these gifts at the end of time. With faith, we can believe that we shall die to our bodies, but live on to recover, eventually, that kind of perfection that ‘approaches’ the perfection of God, himself. In Revelation, (21:4) we read: “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away.”

Some years ago, a series of thoughts on the subject came into my head and I could not erase them. My ‘release’ was to write a poem in blank verse, consisting of three stanzas, in the last of which I tried in humble fashion to describe my thoughts on what follows death – for those who believe in God’s great love for us. The third verse, below, may help to alleviate some of the dread we carry for the unknown:

The time is now…..

Forever now, my friend, for time is fused

Into a single entity, whereby

Infinity is King, and dark gives way

To light.   Newly opened eyes now perceive

God’s Glory, Love and Majesty – Mercy

Towards all human kind, and Grace….. God’s grace

Restores…..breathes life to that so recently

Deceased.   Evil, Darkness, shall not more reign,

Nor shall pain and sorrow ourselves invade,

And Death lies corrupt….. powerless….. in his grave.  

Fear him not for he provides conduit

To that new life, eternal happiness,

Where souls begin to understand the world

The complex Universe, and Nature now

Includes the Stars within her Rainbow bow’r,

And sits down with the Sun.   Endless Space

Without belittling, puts Earth’s Galaxy

Into its place, its micro-cosmic niche

And Time….. its hours….. its days….. at last, stands still.

Goodness and giving, loving and living

Follow Apocalypse Now, that vision

Of God, in which perfection reigns supreme

And nothing, no…..nothing, is left to chance. 

Ask why, then, the fear and from whence it came

That fear of Dying and the Life it brought?

The answer lies in our lack of Faith, Hope,

And wavering Trust in the Word of God,

For we are human, after all, and doubt

Magnifies our imperfections.   The time

Is now, my friend, to mend our ways, …..believe

With all that strength of mind, and heart, and soul,

In God, His Word and promise of support  

Even unto the end of time on earth,

And into Paradise.

Please forgive my very ’human’ attempt to tackle what, for many, is an unmentionable subject. Should my words stand in error, and need of correction, then I apologise and ask forgiveness. Certainly, my exercise has been one solely designed to help, and not to cause any pain or distress.

May God forgive and have mercy on all our souls!

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20^th January

We will all be changed.

We will all be changed is the theme of the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity. It is challenging. This week three times there has been the chance for me to take time out and to share together on the Word of God and there has been time to reflect on this sentence.

On the first occasion we were at the Leyland Methodist Church on Turpin Green. It was really good just to sit back and let the service be led by another. But after a few lively hymns and diverse scripture readings, Phil Gough the Methodist minister, preacher and friend asked us all to think about “How Jesus has changed your life?”

It was not so easy because private thought is one thing and we can go into the comfort zone of not really engaging with the question. But Phil asked us to buzz with our neighbour. My neighbour was the Deacon Ellen Winstanley Monk who is in charge of Midge Hall Methodist Church in Leyland and she insisted I should begin the conversation.

I know very well that Jesus is my redeemer and saviour, but I could not share on personal things like that. However Jesus is also the Word made flesh, and the Word of God has been fascinating me recently as bit by bit the power and might of the Word that transforms everything has been coming home to me. So I could share on how the Word that this month I am living means a great deal to me: in fact it has saved me. The word is: “If you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God” are from the letter to the Colossians 3: 1, and they remind us that we are raised with Christ in the very earthy existence we experience each day. At the same time the place of final and perfect peace and rest will be in heaven.

This last week life has harassed me a lot: and when that happens it is not difficult for me to “lose the plot” and find myself wallowing in anxiety as I wonder what should be done. No need to enter into details, but in the midst of great activity as well as mistakes of one kind and another, it was possible not just to seek the things that are above but actually to remain “up there” in all the stress and strain of life down here. I suspect it is an art that every busy mother and housewife has to learn pretty quickly. But for me, a mere ordinary man with many limitations of ability and concentration, it was good to be calm as possible and even playful in all that had to be done with deadlines coming and not really being properly prepared for what had to be said. That kind of thing can cause me great stress.

The other two occasions were also when it was good to relax and let the Word of God sink in to me. One was a local prison with the 17 or so prisoners who came to the “Word of Life Meeting. We focussed on the Word that is the Word of Life for the month “If you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God” and the prisoners found it helpful to buzz with each other with the question that Rev Phil Gough had put to us. A young prisoner talked about his experience of Jesus saving him in the difficult condition of prison life; and it was refreshing and authentic. He explained how Jesus had begun to mean everything to him in there in Prison within all the difficulties of family visits and problems on the wing.

The other was doing the same thing with a group of men in Religious Life, and hearing a certain Religious speak out his mind as to his understanding of the power and majesty of the Word and yet feel that it was impossible to change anything: himself included.

Simple meal before sharing on God' Word 6 different Religious Institutes represented here

The understanding came to me that the turmoil that sometimes is within my life is only a microcosm of the struggle that there is between good and evil in our world. It is a huge victory for the Word of God when He succeeds in calming me down and allows me to be a bit more loving and peaceful. And it has happened: thanks be to God, though each day I certainly need to be on the watch. So if it can happen in me, a microcosm of this world, it could happen anywhere else.

Some think this world is hell bent of self destruction when we see the self-centredness of many around us: yet at the same time there are many ordinary people, in ordinary hum drum lives going about “doing good”, and so following in the footsteps of Jesus. And they can even witness to the fact that God’s Word is all powerful and redemptive. We will all be changed from glory into glory.

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Spreading the Gospel

The Parish Pastoral Council has been discussing the question about how do we in our parish evangelise. It is something that has exercised us priests in our parish more and more. It is by no means easy to find answers, and the matter comes up again in out next PPC meeting. How many times have we monks also talked about it among ourselves, and for Fr. Ambrose of sacred memory it was his passion.

Fr. Ambrose reminds me of the words of Elijah the prophet to God as found in 1 Kings 19: 9-11. The account goes like this:
At God’s mountain he went into the cave and spent the night there. Then the word of the Lord came to him saying, ‘What are you doing here, Elijah?’ He replied, ‘I am full of jealous zeal for the Lord of hosts, because the Israelites have abandoned your covenant, have torn down your altars and put your prophets to the sword. I am the only one left, and now they want to kill me.’
The people of England have not as yet destroyed the Church, but the Church is very weak, and few keep to the implications of their baptismal promises, and in effect the majority who ignore the Gospel and the necessary worshipping of God together on the Lord’s Day have for themselves torn down the altars. They ignore the prophets so it seems.

We have had discussions in a small preparatory group for the PPC and we did come up with some ideas. They need testing, so enough of them. Last night I thought I would look at a book of personal meditations written by a Missionary of Africa, a friend of mine called Fr. Herbert Herrity from Scotland who for me is also of sacred memory and many others. The book is called “Doodles in the Dust” and is about his time in Northern Ghana from 1955-1991.

He was so authentic and engaging that what happened to him and his reflections and reactions, always genuine,  sincere and ‘different’, have left a lasting impression on me. They may help some others too. Certainly I identify completely with his description of what he was trying to do as a priest in Northern Ghana with what I attempt to do here in North West England.

In this incident Fr. Herbert was invited to the base camp of a surveyor friend he met, a Newcastle man who was engaged on building a big road. The first night another English lady turned up, doing field work in anthropology among the native people of Northern Ghana. The three of them were chatting after their evening meal together: each was in Ghana for different reasons: one earning a good salary as a surveyor, the other preparing for a University degree and the English lady turned to Fr. Herbert and asked him “And what are you doing here?” Fr. Herbert writes in this anecdote:

It can be difficult to explain fundamentals, the things that you take most for granted and have built your life on. Probably it is because they are so fundamental that they are difficult to talk about. Phrases like ‘save souls’, ‘build the Church’, ‘make Jesus known and loved’, ‘bring people to Jesus’ kept racing around in my head; but these answers would not do. To be honest, I felt very self-conscious as I struggled for words. But it was a good a good question, and I am so glad she asked it.
The Church repeatedly asks itself why it must be necessary. Neither the White Fathers nor the Church can speak for me. I must speak for myself. Why am I here in this remote village: what am I trying to do? Why am I a missionary?

Fr. Herbert in Africa as he might have told this anecdote.What I actually said that evening I do not remember now, but I hope I said something like this.

‘I am a missionary because that is what God wants from me in my life.’ ‘Are you sure?’ ‘Absolutely!’ ‘And what makes you so sure?’ Firstly it would take too long. Secondly, because it is rather private. There is always, deep inside everyone, a part of us marked “Private to God alone”. But I can say this; when I look back and see how God has been leading me and working with me, I have no doubt that He wants to be a missionary. After all, if He wants me to do something, He owes it to Himself to inform me. ‘If the trumpet issues an uncertain sound, who will prepare for battle?’ But He has informed me to my complete satisfaction.

What am I trying to do?

Quite simply I am trying to love the people God has put beside me. They include other White Fathers, parishioners, visitors to the house, in short anybody that God sends me in my life as day follows day.

I want to love them with the love of God i.e. not self-centred human love but the unconditional, unlimited love of God. I want to love them in the way they want to be loved, not the way I or anyone else chooses to love them.

I want to love with the love that the Father infuses in me.

‘Who lives in love, lives in God and God in him’. To love in this way is freedom, for myself and also for the other. With it goes a joy that must always have been with Jesus. Little is said of the joy of Jesus in the New Testament.

I believe that the only right I have in this life is to love; not to be loved or appreciated but to love. Of course, , no one will ever take that right away from me.

I know this sounds wonderful; just too good to be true. I agree. But isn’t it good to have the ideal before us in spite of the fact that we all fall so short?

As I look around I get the impression that the world is not short of clever, even brilliant intellects; but it is short of love and loving people.

I imagine that when Africans look at their missionaries they are not looking for builders or organisers in the first place; nor for wealthy people who have access to money or resources. They just want people with the love of God in their hearts; people with time and sympathy and understanding.

I SOUGHT MY GOD BUT GOD WAS FAR FROM ME;
I LOOKED FOR ‘MAN’ BUT MAN ELUDED ME,
I SOUGHT MY BROTHER AND I FOUND ALL THREE;
MY GOD,MY SOUL AND ALL HUMANITY.

The Shepherds went back glorifying and praising God for all they had seen

A priest in a Middle East country racked with killings wrote recently to a group of friends, and his short story touched me and the others.

“29^th December 2011 Here is a small sign of life from a city that you will know because of the bad news from it of the last months. We live in a war situation here. We have a curfew which begins early in the afternoon, what means that if you dare to go out on the street, you take the risk that someone will fire on you.

It is not possible to hold meetings or other gatherings of people. So Christmas mass was impossible. Each day we celebrate mass at our house with perhaps 10 people, no more. The number is always small but the faith is strong. Often people have to overcome their fear to come. They are attracted by something I do not understand; in an atmosphere which I would dare to call Jesus among us. The people really want to come and several of them come each day. They become true friends in the Lord, gathered by Him. Christmas in these circumstances became for me a unique experience which filled me with a joy which is perhaps something like the simple and natural joy of the shepherds of the Gospel at that first Christmas.

As the New Year is upon us I wanted to share with all of you something of the joy of Jesus among us, and so I have written these few lines to you.”

I was then also touched by the Gospel on Sunday 1^st January, New Year’s Day and the Feast of Mary, the Mother of God. “The shepherds hurried away to Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph and the baby lying in a manger. When they saw the child they repeated what they had been told about him, and everyone who heard it was astonished at what the shepherds had to say….And the shepherds went back glorifying God for all they had heard and seen: it was exactly as they had been told”.

The Shepherds in the time of Jesus were at the bottom of the heap in the rankings of society. Those at the top in the Holy Land of those days were the Sadducees, the Pharisees, the Tax Collectors, the priests, good Jews like Joseph the foster father of Jesus and probably a small builder, those who ran small businesses, traders, farmers, fishermen, small shop owners and the like. Shepherds had to get up early, work all night as well, got low pay, and were often robbers and thieves in the hills. God sent the angel at the first Christmas to these who were among the least in society, and it was they who celebrated with Mary and Joseph the birth of Jesus, the Saviour of the World. It is said in the gospel that when the angel appeared to them “the glory of the Lord shone round they them. They were terrified, but the angel said, ‘Do not be afraid. Listen, I bring you new of great joy, a joy to be shared by the whole people. Today in the town of David a saviour has been born for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger’. And suddenly with the angel there was a great throng of the heavenly host, praising God and singing, ‘Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace to men who enjoy his favour’.

I wonder about those shepherds. Were they terrified as if they had been found out and had to own up to their bad deeds? Did some of them become followers of Jesus, saw his miracles and heard Jesus preaching,  and in their old age after Jesus had died and risen did they tell their story to the community of faith that St. Luke the evangelist belonged to? The detail of what happened is quite striking as though somebody who had been present had passed on what actually occurred.

I wonder also about my priest friend: he too seems to glorify God for all he had seen and heard in his war situation. He seems to have been given eyes to see and ears to hear what he had never heard before at Christmas in the midst of the most dangerous difficulties. Certainly his reaction is like that of the shepherds at the first Christmas. May we exult at the presence of God among us, in the good relationships we try to build often amid difficulties of a different nature; and may our faith and trust in God be as strong as those Christian lay people risking their lives to get to mass.

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